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What Am I Doing?

So I know some of you have been wondering about what I've been doing and what I've been up too. What is all this about? What is going on with this business nonsense? That's something I'm finally ready to share and open up about, but first I feel like I have to say a few things...

The democratic primary broke me. It broke me in a way that I never really expected. I thought it would be the last straw and I'd kill myself finally removing the pain this world causes me daily, but instead I found a strength I didn't know I had. An inner spirit that could meet the moment and be part of change. Obviously I chose life though I wasn't far from that not being the case. All I have seen over 2020 is so much pain and suffering that I was not sure how to process any of it. How do you process such a betrayal of your country and government? How does anyone process the things that are going on in this world? As a nation it's a collective grief that we don't live in ANY sort of real democracy. We are at the whims of those who will not suffer with us. It made me realize that the only way I could enact any real change was to have money or to riot.

I live in Washington one of a few states that I could say is even close to serviceable during this pandemic. The people here? We are doing okay. Great even. There is no worry like there is elsewhere and it breeds a sense of complacency as we watch the horror around us. Our governor has taken care of us to a degree that I am able to live in a relative privileged state. I'm thankful for that, but I also feel so undeserving of it. Chris has had to talk me out of offering our full home with NO spare rooms to random people in need. I'm so full of love and compassion...yet I have NO idea what to do with it. How to make a change in a state that isn't feeling the urgency of the rest of this nation? Which brings me to what I felt was necessary to continue on living in this world with an actual purpose that I could feel good about, that could led to real change, or SOME difference. No, it's not getting into politics. Turns out becoming rich is actually far easier than it is to make it as a politician (says a lot about our country, doesn't it?). So my supportive, wonderful husband gave me the go to basically live as frugal as we possibly can, take every single dollar we have, and put it to work. I'm investing it, I'm starting a business with it, and I'm building a brand. My hope is to take the profit I earn take care of myself, my family, and help others. I want to really use this as a jumping platform to build programs and lobby groups that can actually HELP people who really need it. Money talks in america. It's pretty much the only way you can make active change without burning it all to the ground. I'm not well off so I have to build the fortune to make the change. I also have to say I am personally motivated as well. I'm going to be disabled for the rest of my life. I may recover some functionality, but I will never be able to do the kind of work necessary to return to my field. My medical costs will continue mounting as my condition progresses and yes being poor will cost me my life. The reason Stephen Hawking lived with ALS for as long as he did wasn't because of his superior was because he was rich. He was wealthy enough to pay for in home care and basically had a medical team nearby all the time. He had live in nurses and a ventilator for use at home. Being disabled is expensive and you will die if you can't afford it. I know it's hard to hear another sad thing, but the truth is disabled people have been dying because they can't keep up with their medical care for decades. It's not new. More people are just becoming aware of it because chronic disease in america is *increasing*. It's due to poverty. 100% we are ill because of poverty. So yeah if I want to live long enough to make a change I need to be rich. I also need money to actively campaign and support my values. I have to become part of the solution in SOME way or I wouldn't be able to live with myself. I hope my friends and family can support me on this journey as I figure out what the fuck I'm doing! I'm sure at the very least I will be entertaining!

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